being annoying

To be 100 percent honest. To the ones who actually read this which is like no one, I am probably like the most annoying out of your friends. Well if you don't think that I'm glad. When I talk to people I feel I'm bothering them constantly over and over. Then I tell them I'm sorry and they have no idea what I'm talking about.  I try not be annoying, but I realize that I am annoying after so it gets hard not to be annoying. Then when I tell them what I'm sorry for they say you're not annoying and then I argue with them that I am and then realize I'm being annoying. It is really frustrating to be like this and to be honest I hate myself. This is what people call low self esteem but this is just who I am. I feel ugly and annoying and I feel like I don't deserve my friends. I feel really mean talking to people and I just don't know what to do to change that. Even right now, whoever reads this will most likely think I'm annoying. I really don't want to be. If I kept my mouth shut this wouldn't be a problem but I am stupid like that to say hey or hi to people and again start to be annoying. SO peoples I will apologize right now for being annoying. I know I suck so no need to hide it from me =)