For some reason I am having mixed feelings. I feel frightened and sad. Frightened because of different things in life. Sad because of friends and love.
One thing I HATE, yes hate not even dislike, just strongly HATE is being embarrassed!! I can't stand it. I would strongly dislike the person who made me embarrassed. It is just very frustrating and frightening. At times I would even want to cry and just disappear from the world.
To be honest I am confused of what to do with anything. It is very lets say annoying to me. My life is annoying. I can't control life or even handle my feelings.
I feel like there is always someone else in me controlling me and just purposely ruining my life out there. I don't know what to do or say to make people feel happy or even like me. I just really hate myself.
I feel and look ugly and annoying and stupid constantly all the time. I expect so much of myself and constantly disappoint myself everyday. I don't think this feeling will ever go away. And life will be dreaded for me everyday.
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